Funny Fridays: Tweets of a Lifeguard.

I miss lifeguarding. I've said it. Pheew. I miss my fantastic coworkers, being out in the sun all day. I miss that accomplished and pissed off feeling you get after jumping in for someone. I miss the sun. Oh my gosh. It is getting so cold! I'm not saying I could handle the July heat (40 degrees plus) every day... Because I know I couldn't. But not having to lay under blankets every day would be really nice.

Anyways, over the summer with my twitter, I would tweet with the hashtag #lifeofalifeguard. This made it insanely easy to track down every tweet about guarding ever posted by myself, or that someone else posted that I shared with my peeps. (It's called retweeting for you n00bs out there.)

Cheers to a throwback!

Is it a pair of sunglasses? A wallet? Oh... It's weave...

My bed time is 10:30pm. Staying up past midnight is a bad idea.

Half asleep. Imagine someone dying at your pool. Twitch and you're suddenly fully awake.

Honestly... I just want to sleep right now. Swimsuit still on. Whistle still on. Covered in dirt. (I ended up actually doing this... I was really tired...)

I just realized how many boobs I see in a day at work... #notintoit

My hair is so fried... It feels like 3 month old walmart weave. #wah

No matter how long I lay on the beach these tan lines won't go away.

There should be an age limit on bikinis lol my eyes are bleeding!

YOU! DROWN! i can't just stand here all day! #its2hot4that

Clean as a whistle... Does not seem so clean anymore.

Money first, safety second. (I did not say this, some coworkers and I were mimicking the owner of our park.)

My nose is more tan then the rest of my body…

I'm so hot but I don't want to further damage my hair by getting in the water.

I seriously messed up my tan today... :( (Never apply your own sunscreen to your back. Ever.)

Pretty sure I pulled a muscle when I pulled a 30 pound kid out of a slide a few days ago…

Friends who save together, stay together.

The top of my legs have like no fat left on them after walking up 160 stairs everyday all summer.

I think I'm as tan as a person on Jersey Shore.

You talk to your fellow guard friends about how much hatred you have for pants.

Going up stairs does not phase me anymore.

Everytime I exfoliate a part of me dies inside. #tan

Everytime I watch the first scene of A Walk to Remember, I freak out inside.

Saving lives one band aid at a time.

People always complain about lifeguards not doing their jobs... You try guarding 100+ people for an hour...

I might sound rude. It's my job to watch people swim... But if people weren't so careless with their LIVES, no one would need lifeguards.

Indians really think it's funny to drown and have the lifeguard go in and save them... Really?

I want to go back to the days I was a lifeguard when I used to get paid to chill..

I wish everything was easy as being a lifeguard

Dear non-swimmer in the deep end, stop telling me you're okay. You're gonna freakin die. MOVE BACK. Sincerely, the lifeguard who's yelling.

I have to pee SO bad. But I don't want to take off the 1 piece...

I had a coworker tell me "you look so different in civies!" today, when I showed up to pick up my brother... #relief

Dear Hair, would it kill you to look pretty on my day off? Sincerely, Lifeguard.

The worst part of working at an outdoor facility is how your feet look at the end of the night. #lifeguardtroubles #returnofthetrenchfoot

Dear Swimmers, please be prepared to be put on a backboard if you play dead. Sincerely, the lifeguards.

Dear old men at my swimming pool, please stop wearing tiny speedos. NO ONE likes it. Sincerely, lifeguard.

My waitress asked me today if I was a lifeguard because I'm so tan. SOOOO HAPPY!

GTL. Gym, Tan, Lifeguard.

Just taking a moment...

My life has been pretty crazy for the last month.

If you ever feel that your life is just perfect, if it could just stay like it is in this moment then everything would be perfect... Buckle up. Because life is about to throw you a curve ball.

I came across this fantastic song in my country music fanaticism. I don't know why I love it so much... I know it's about love and not about my current situation. But there are so many phrases that I just think "yes, that's exactly it."

My apologies for being a slack blogger lately. My friends and family and church callings are (as always) keeping me extremely busy. The new job is also keeping me busier then anticipated. Busy all around. Maybe once there's colder weather, I'll be able to imagine myself knee deep in the water somewhere. Comment if you know the second song reference!

Hope you're all healthy and happy,

A successful shopping story.

In preparation for my first day on the job, I went out with my friend Shop Girl to get some new clothes. I needed some dress pants and black flats. I can say that we had a great day shopping. She was looking for some maternity pants because she is having a baby girl and she's at that point where it's difficult to get off our couches without assistance. Hahaha.

We went to Old Navy and I suddenly remembered why I don't shop there anymore... Their pants are way too short for me. I am not even that tall either! But Shop Girl had great success there, she got the maternity jeans she was looking for. She even avoided the mom jeans that are in rich supply at Old Navy.

After that, we went to a few other stores one which was Reitmans. I'm not usually a huge fan of Reitmans because... well, my mom shops there. And it feels weird going to stores that my mom shops at. But I needed dress pants. So, I sucked it up. I found a great pair of pants, they were just a little small around my waist, so I asked for the next size up. They didn't have any in the entire store! I tried on the long in the size up... But I am not THAT tall.

Pants - Reitmans

They called the location closest to my house, no luck. They called the location down the street, success! They would hold it for me for the rest of the day! So happy! I then found a sweater for my mom, that she obviously loved. I bought the sweater and we went on our merry way to Payless. We tried on some shoes and didn't really find what we were looking for.

We then moved on the H&M where I found this lovely piece.

Scarf - H&M; Long Sleeve Shirt - H&M

The shirt is old, I've had it for years. But the scarf... SWOON! I have a friend Sara who bought herself a scarf somewhat similar to this in Spain that I have been seriously coveting. I've been looking for something similar since I first laid eyes on it. I finally found my Canadian version of Sara's scarf. My wardrobe does not have enough outfits for this to go with. I seriously want to wear this gem every single day.

I literally skipped and danced over to the register and as I went to pay, I realized that I didn't have the sweater I bought my mom anymore... I turned to Shop Girl, "Where's the sweater I bought my mom?" She instantly began to brainstorm ideas for a solution. "Do you know where you left it? Do you want me to go back and look right now?" I was sure I left it in Payless so I calmly paid for my scarf in H&M and we walked across the hall to Payless. There it was, sitting in the aisle. Turns out I am my mother's daughter after all. She loses her wallet and keys ALL the time. It's at the point now that when my mom loses her wallet or keys, no one freaks out. Because it's really not a big deal.

Then we went and got Chinese food in the food court which was absolutely magical. I seriously love Chinese food. Thinking about it right now is making my mouth water a little bit.

I've been shopping a lot lately, aside from this specific outing which was a lot of fun. Why you ask? Well, do we all remember the BFF Brittany? She's getting married this Friday! I've been putting together all of my accessories for this wedding. And you could say that I will be the second prettiest girl there... :)

These are the shoes I bought for the wedding!

Shoes - Winners

I also got a clutch to hold everything, up to and including the kitchen sink, all of which a good maid of honour needs. Feel free to comment with some ideas of things I should bring!

Click to enlarge.

Clutch - Random Store (hahaha)

Lastly, I haven't bought anything for me in forever... I've bought things for the wedding, I've bought things for work. But not very many things for me. So I splurged and got myself a pair of boots. I didn't even spend a lot of money, I just really liked them. It felt like I spoiled myself.

Boots - Marshalls

How are we feeling about my purchases? I love them all SO MUCH! I'm so excited to get my first paycheque and buy myself some new clothes again! I'll have to put clothes into my budget. I cannot just binge and purge on my clothing diet.

Funny Fridays: Sexy Sax Man

Most people don't know this about me, but I played the saxophone in high school for 3 years. I was in the concert band and everything. Yep, I was a band geek for a long time. But that alone, makes this so much funnier to me.

I introduce to you, Sexy Sax Man.

My current employment status...

Last summer, after I finished working at Canada's Wonderland I spent months only working part-time at Cineplex Odeon. My parents were less then impressed with this. There were countless arguments about my employment, wasting time, not making enough money, etc. So this year, when the lifeguarding season came to a close... I was extremely nervous. I didn't want to be in the same position that I was last year.

So, I've been applying to every job I could find. I finally got a call from a hiring agency last week who set up an interview for friday afternoon. This was the day of the Jack & Jill I had been planning for Brittany and her fiancé, Brandon. I was stressed about how the interview would go, how the party would go and how I would ever have the time to do everything I had to, now that I had an interview. But of course, I went. I expected to be there for about an hour. I was there for THREE HOURS. I did some testing on their computer for typing speed, call handling and a bunch of other random stuff that I can't even remember. I left feeling really good about it. 

Monday afternoon, I received a call from the woman who had conducted the 3 hour interview on friday and told me that I needed to call a representative to have an assessment of my bilingual skills. I've done a fair few of these assessments and usually they get you to read and write some stuff and make sure that you're coherent in the language. I called this man on my cell phone while I was parked in a Price Chopper's lot and he asked me where I learned my french. I explained that my mom was born and raised in Cornwall. So, she had learned french in her home and community. She thought it would be beneficial for her children to learn french. All of us were placed in a french speaking school and when I reached high school, I went to the local french immersion program. We ended the conversation and that was that.

Apparently he told the hiring agency that he thought I had better french then him. Best feeling ever! (Because I was totally thinking it when I was talking to him on the phone.) The hiring agency decided to set up an interview with the company on Wednesday. I went expecting a 30-40 minute interview, another 3 hours later...

I was hired and filling out papers!

The job itself is at a call centre, which I know kind of sucks, but because I speak french I make 2 dollars more then everyone else. (THANKS MOM!) My mom works at a call centre for Pitney Bowes and she's been there for 3 years. I figure I won't be there for anywhere close to that long, but it'll make me some great money for school.

Anyways, that's the big news with me.
October 6th is my first day, wish me luck!