Funny Fridays: Sassy Gay Friend

Now, I know what you're all thinking... "It's not friday!" I know it's not friday, I have a clock on my computer. But the reason I'm posting my funny today is that I am going on a trip with my family over the next 8 days to Utah for General Conference and I thought it would be fun to blog about it each day after I get back to my hotel room. So, I'm giving you a taste of the weekend early!

I was recently shown this hilarious series called "Sassy Gay Friend". Basically, they take classic tales of women who could have avoided their awful fates by having a sassy gay friend. Some of my favourites include: 

* Eve from the Bible

* Desdemona from Othello

* Ophelia from Hamlet

* Juliet from Romeo & Juliet

My sister and I love to name our CDs after our favourite and most recent funnies, so our mixes lately have been called "You big slut, good for you!" (a party mix) and "Ophelia so bad for yourself" (a chill mix). 

Another great thing that has come of these videos is the constant referencing that goes on. Elise, Sarah and I were all sitting in sunday school and we were talking about Abraham and Isaac. I turned to Sarah and said something along the lines of, "This is Abraham. He is about to sacrifice his son. This could have been avoided if he had a sassy gay friend. What are you doing? What, what, WHAT are you doing? An angel of the Lord appears to you, tells to you kill your son and you do it? KILL YOUR SON?" It was probably the best moment ever. 

Anyways, I hope you all enjoy it as much as I have! Happy weekend!

Introducing: The Best BFF

I have the best friends this world has to offer. I would just like to clarify, if any of you were confused. I know, this could be some earth shattering news to most of you, but I just feel the need to tell let everyone know that I have the best best friends. My best girl friend's name is Brittany.

This pretty much sums her up in every way. 

She enjoys long walks on the beach, colouring, comic books, playing with toys on the floor in dollarama, forcing shwarmas down my throat, hawaiian pizza and helping me get on track with my scripture reading. Some of her dislikes include bad drivers, stingy subway workers (extra black olives are a must... on EVERYTHING), bacon pizza and people who WREAK of weed at concerts. 

We will often just go somewhere for the sole purpose of taking pictures together.

We met at church when she moved to Toronto from Barrie. When we first met, we both thought each other were super weird and we both didn't want to be friends with each other. Then, Princess Brittany was forced to go to Young Women's Camp that year and everything changed. We were in the same tent together and I had her as a secret sister. Did I mention that she went home early because she was sick and hates Young Women's Camp? I tried to convince her to stay but she's about as stubborn as I am. And that was when I first got to know my now-BFF.

After that we started sitting together in Young Women's and our dad's got called to serve in the bishopric together. I can definitely say that we became inseparable. The other members of our church would comment on our habitual walks around the chapel before class. "Going for another lap?" We would smile and laugh at them as we walked by.

Our first road trip together was to EFY in Michigan, her dad was driving and we sat in the back and watched Love Comes Softly (BEST. MOVIES. EVER.) I cried and she almost did. We stayed in a Radisson that night - just us! It was so much fun. We did everything you do at a hotel: jump on the beds, go up and down the elevators for no reason, sleep and order room service for breakfast. I had never ordered room service before. So Brittany lied in bed and watched me order it on the phone with my signature "stupid grin" on. It was awesome, and delicious! Then we went to EFY for a week of spiritual nourishment and fun. My dad picked us up in Michigan and we drove home in the car. Needless to say, it was a tight fit with all of Princess Brittany's luggage, mine and my dad's camping gear.

This is so embarrassing...

4 years ago, happy to be out of the back seat!

Since then, we've gone on many adventures together. Whether it's a quick trip to downtown Toronto or all the way to London and back to visit some friends. If it's with Brittany there's always laughter and good music.

Sara and I once heart attacked her when she called me about a rough day.

The reason I wanted to write this entry is because we hung out yesterday and I had so much fun just going to Dollarama, getting kicked out and reading scriptures that I came to the realization that I have the best best friend in the world. Unfortunately, I couldn't even try to attempt to  write down all of our funny stories.

Now through the years, we've developed a friendship that is more like an old married couple. I have in-laws. I spend Christmas with their family instead of my own, I have to spend time with her siblings and her parents make fun of me all the time. But honestly, I love my in-laws. Jim drove me to church on Sunday and we just talked all the way there and I realized that I have a family in them. Spending Christmas with them last year was not awkward, but actually very refreshing. We also do one of those cute couple things - we always say I love you when we're hanging up the phone. I don't know how this started, but we just do it and I think it's cute.

CLASSIC.

Being an old married couple also includes fights, disagreements and constant bickering, but no matter what happens, we know we can call each other when we're upset and/or crying. The other person knows that it's their job to provide comforting words. And if the words don't work, food always does.

She's not always the friend I want, but she's always the friend I need. It's amazing to have such a great friend who is so supportive and fun to be with. It's amazing what a bad week at Young Women's Camp can do for your life.

We took this in Dollarama... and got kicked out for it.

I am lucky enough to have two best friends, the other is Daniel, my best guy friend. But I will write about him another day!

If you want to learn more about Brittany, you can check out her blog!

22. Spend an entire day reading the scriptures

Completed: April 30 - May 1, 2010
I still don't fully understand why I wanted to do this. It's a cute idea, immersing yourself in the scriptures for an entire day. Waking up in the morning and just poppin' open the scriptures to 1st Nephi and cruising through until sundown. I clearly hadn't thought this through, because I actually am a busy person. I normally don't have time to just set aside one whole entire day to solely reading scriptures and to be completely honest, most days I don't make time to read them.

Luckily for me, this task went hand in hand with a church activity we had planned out. We decided that it would be awesome, we would read from about 5pm to 2am, wake up early in the morning and read all the way to Moroni. I got there after school, scripture marker in hand, prepared to bask in the divinity of this great book. I had highly underestimated the task at hand because when the clock struck twelve, I was ready to sleep. I thought that I would stay up with the 12 year old girls in the group and have fun girly talks. No. My leader told us we were finished for the night and I got on the couch and passed out.

Listening to my Molly Mormon playlist.

Taking a break for snacks!

Click to enlarge - This was our schedule. DEATH.

It was 7am when we were woken up... My awesome YW leader decided to sing us a song. With the most shrill, annoying voice that she could come up with. Everything inside of me wanted to die.

You can even ask my mom, this is what I'm like every morning. 

Once we got back into it, it went really smoothly. We were a little behind but we went on. We spiced things up by standing on one foot, reading in weird voices, having guests speakers and taking breaks to read on our own.

Standing on one leg, did I mention I was one of the last people standing? 

Young Men came to reenact the story of the Title of Liberty - so funny. 

Click to enlarge - A map of the war chapters in the Book of Mormon. Made by Elder Seeber. AMAZING!

Elder Ferland playing the violin for us. AMAZING!

My dorky dad brought us facials. What a sweetie!

One of our more attractive pictures...

Our Stake President even came to read with us.

At the end of the day, I went off to work. But as the girls finished the Book of Mormon, our leaders played this video for them. This is probably the best talk I have ever heard.

It was a very different experience because it seemed more like a book and less like actual scripture. You could tell that these people had lived and they had worries and disappointments just like everyone else. They were not these perfect people that I had always imagined them to be. As my dad likes to say, they put their pants on one leg at time, just like everyone else. It made the people in the scriptures so much more relatable and made me want to be more like them, because after reading the book this way, it actually seemed attainable. I love this book. I encourage everyone to read it and to ponder the things that they read.

If you would like to receive a free copy of this book, click here.

Funny Fridays: Harry Potter > Twilight.

Harry Potter is probably the best novel series ever written. Others believe that Twilight is superior...

They are full of poo. 

Vampires and werewolves have been in literacy for centuries and Stephanie Meyer has made a mockery of them. These creatures/people are supposed to be villains, killers and strike fear into our hearts. Vampires in Twilight sparkle, love and starve themselves. Dracula would be offended. Werewolves are now these noble creatures who protect their land and can change into their creature form whenever they get angry. The full moon has nothing to do with their transformations... WHAT?! No. Remus Lupin is the best werewolf alive, not Jacob Black. Hate to break your hearts but werewolf stories tend to go a little something like this: full moons, no self control, loss of memory, feeling sick, etc.

J.K. Rowling, however, created a world of magic that, in reality, could exist. (She covered her butt really well. Hogwarts has spells to prevent muggles from finding it - BRILLIANT.) She created a school that every single kid waits for an acceptance from at the age of eleven... and again when they're waiting for their acceptance to muggle universities. Not only was the story fun to read and to imagine but she literally planned out every single aspect of it before writing it. Sirius Black was not formally introduced until the third book in the series, but was mentioned in the first book in the first chapter when Hagrid is dropping Harry off at the Dursley's. Hagrid mentioned how Sirius wouldn't be needing his motorcycle that night. That was the night that Sirius went to Azkaban. AMAZING.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is good literature.

How does this relate to funny fridays? I love fan based Harry Potter funnies. I once found The Super Confidential Diary of Harry Potter, I have never laughed so hard in my life. Harry Potter is portrayed as a huge womanizer and a big douche, but it's so funny I can't resist the urge to share it. Disclaimer: it can get a little inappropriate and swears quite a bit. You've been warned. So, here are a few more of my favourites.

Happy weekend, everyone!

Everybody wants to have a cat.

Okay, so the title is a bit of an exaggeration. I decided today that I have the cutest cats on the face of the earth, sorry cat ladies, you're out of luck. Not only are they cute on the outside, they're cute on the inside. They have the best little personalities and they let us pose them for pictures.

Kyoot Kittehs

Left to right: Misty and Logan

Now these pictures are a bit outdated. These were taken when we first got them just about a year ago. They've grown up quite a bit. And by grow up, I mean Logan got fat and Misty is still tiny. But we love them regardless. Here are some of the things I love about my cats:

Logan will come and lay on your shoulder while you're on the computer or watching TV and just lick your neck. He does this to the point where you've lost the top layer of your skin and he's still licking you! My family and I like to call this affectionate action, "making out". Because really, what else can we call it? Logan is licking me? Not really. It's so much more intense than that.

Misty is the best because she will just let you pick her up and cuddle with her whenever you want. Whereas, Logan decides if he wants to lay with you on the couch while you're watching TV. If you want Logan to cuddle with you, that's too freakin' bad. He has better things to do than watch How I Met Your Mother with you after work. Misty is just so indifferent about everything she makes a superb snuggle buddy.

Now, my cats are awesome and it's not just my bias or being their parent (yes, their parent). Everyone who comes to our house usually says something along the lines of "I usually hate cats, but your cats are awesome!" And we know they are. But what most people don't know is that they have little annoying things they like to do. Why? I don't know. It's probably some sick revenge on us for forgetting to change the litter box occasionally.

Logan looks possessed... I swear it's just a camera flare.

The thing that Logan does that drives me INSANE is when you're petting him, lovingly. And then all of a sudden, he wants to play. Before you know it, your hand, wrist and arm are chew toys. It's like Logan is a furry, cuddly, soft little animal and then he morphs into this monster. I love how The Oatmeal Comic talks about petting your cat... It reminded me so much of Logan.

Misty enjoys long walks on the beach, dancing in the rain, attacking your feet and head butting your face - all while you're trying to sleep. She does this thing while I'm sleeping. She will reach under my blankets and claw at my feet. Why? Because she is sick and twisted. That's just how she rolls. The other thing that I mentioned she enjoyed doing, head butting you while sleeping. Now while you're awake, it's adorable and 100% enjoyable. But when you're sleeping... It's like you're being woken up by whiskers and hatred. You have to push her away constantly and once you think she's gone, she just keeps coming back for more. This never happens at the time that you actually have to wake up, it's usually at approximately 4am when NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND NEEDS TO BE AWAKE. What usually happens is that I have to pick her up, get out of my warm bed, put her outside of my room and close the door. 

They really are great cats, and our family loves them to death. Hopefully next time I go to pet them, I'll see empathy, not murder...