People must go through almost 2 years of training to become lifeguards. We are not morons, okay? We know the dangers. We know what a weak swimmers, fakers, distressed non-swimmers look like and most of all, we have human instinct to rely on when all of that knowledge goes down the pooper. So when your kid is in the deep end because you brought them there and they aren't going fast enough to get back to the shallow end, I am not jumping in. So stop yelling at me. Your kid is fine. They're just slow. Because they have the muscle mass of a pigeon.
I will not jump in for you if you fit the following criteria: calm, cool, collected and struggling a little bit. You are breathing. Your face is above water. You can touch the ground. WALK OUT OF THE POOL! This is so not a difficult concept. I don't even understand how you're so upset. If you are freaking out, and I see in your eyes that you feel as though you're going to die, I will not hesitate to jump in. But when you look at me and say, "Uh, lifeguard? Can you help me?" and you're in the middle of the pool, standing on your two feet... Forget it! Because guess what? You're completely fine. And once I get to you, you'll stand up and walk out.
To the lady who flipped me off a few days ago, giving people the finger will NOT make them want to help you. Just a pointer (ha, pun) for life in general.
I don't look like this... Ever. Especially not at work. |
This is more what it's like... |
KNOW YOUR LIMITS.
There is no reason, under any circumstance that I should even HAVE a job as a lifeguard. If people just used their brains, you would never be in water beyond their own personal level of comfort. Therefore, no one would drown.
Is it so much to ask that if you don't know how to swim to just stay in shallow water? If you feel a little smidge of intimidation, to turn back? To follow the rules? To get out of the slide when you get to the bottom? To swim, not doggy paddle or lay face down in the water for a minute?
Most days, I have to jump in for the children of irresponsible parents. This actually does not bother me. Little kids don't know any better. Parents who are laying on the beach while their 5 year olds are swimming around the deep end in their lifejacket... I dislike them. So strongly.
Sigh, but really it's just another day at the office.
No comments:
Post a Comment